Keep Holding On
by ExistInspire
Summary: In light of the personal tragedy within the WWE, Trish attempts to console a very disillusioned Chris Jericho, trying to save him from his own inner pain.


**Disclaimer:** Any mention of the WWE is used here purely for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended. The viewpoints listed in this story are only those of the author in the intent to make believable fiction and they do not reflect this site in any way; shape or form.

**Music Disclaimer:** The song used is Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne and is used here purely for entertainment value only and no copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary;** In light of the personal tragedy within the WWE, Trish attempts to console a very disillusioned Chris Jericho, trying to save him from his own inner pain.

**Cast:** Chris Jericho and Trish Stratus

**Authors Note:** In the wake of current events within the wrestling world, and everyone's attempts at dealing with it and their own inner pain, I am choosing to use my voice, my inner romantic voice to help me through it. This story is no way trying to push my belief system on anyone, and if anyone is offended by anything they read here, my apologies. For any attention this one shot gets, I thank you all.

* * *

She had watched him at the funeral, his eyes downcast, not meeting any of the glances that were being thrown his way. She understood the inner turmoil more so then anyone else there because like him, she had been friends with the man they had just said their private goodbyes too as well and it stung her just as deeply.

So many questions surrounded this day, none of which would ever be truly answered. She had completely blocked the media and their speculation for her home and her mind, choosing instead of focus on the good things that the man known as the Canadian Crippler had done with his life and the people he had indeed touched along the way.

But it seemed to her that he couldn't do the same thing. It was affecting him more, in the most darkest of ways and she wished nothing more then to be able to help him get over the pain this moment must be putting him through.

They had all been friends before this horrible day, standing and saying goodbye to a man they both loved and respected all at the same time. They had been together just based on the fact that they had done this together. The group of them had been Canadians, busting their chops to be more then just another name in a business that was famous for making only names. They were indeed a pair, forever locked by their heritage and love for this business as one.

She wanted to reach out to him, to tell him just how much she understood his pain and that she wasn't going to run away and back to her suburban life, putting this event behind her as if it hadn't happened. She wanted to tell him that she was prepared to fight there along side him, the side of the truth winning each and every time.

So why couldn't she move her legs to do just that? Why did her feet feel as if they were locked in place in the middle of the grassy graveyard refusing to move?

**You're not alone  
Together we stand  
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand  
When it gets cold  
And it feels like the end  
There's no place to go  
You know I won't give in  
No I won't give in**

As if being guided by a force that was not her own she was immediately able to move again and made her way over to where he stood, watching the men put the final touches of dirt on the already covered grave. Everyone had already said their own personal goodbyes, but he was still there, as if the words were unable to come. Or it might be that he just didn't want to have to say goodbye to someone he had loved more then anyone before him. The man that was now gone from them had been a rock for all of them, guiding them and teaching them, making them more then they ever thought they could be and it pained her to think that they were both alone in the same way without him now.

"Chris..."

He turned at the sound of his name then and the look that landed on her was not one of joy the way it had always been in the past when they had caught each other flying on to another event. This look was different. He was different now and there was no denying it. He had lost a part of himself when Benoit had been lowered into the ground for his final Earthly walk.

"I just can't believe I am here and that this is really happening. I can't say goodbye to him Trish, it just doesn't seem right. He should be here beside us now and we should be on our way to the next show. The next big stop of our lives."

She understood that. She partially expected the elder Chris to come out of nowhere and ask why they looked so down in the dumps all of a sudden. Why they weren't out drinking together and rehashing their old career matches. That was where they should have been now and deep down she wished time could go back so that they could indeed be doing that now. Anything but what they were going through now. The missing piece of their hearts now lying in the cold; hard ground.

"He has to be in a better place now Chris. This life was just too much for him. It's too much for all of us."

Chris just nodded and continued to stare at the ground, the words still unable to come the way he had hoped. He wanted to be able to walk away, to chalk up what had happened to his friend just being evil but he knew deep down that was not the truth. His friend had been lost and since he hadn't been around since his WWE departure, he hadn't known just how much.

If he had stayed with the WWE all those years ago instead of running off and making a life for himself with his band, could he have prevented this? Could he had sensed it before it happened and come to the rescue? The way his friend had always done for him in his darkest moments? Or was this destined to happen the way it had all along.

_Were we really supposed to feel this much pain with our short time on Earth?_

Trish reached out to him then and held his hand tightly, squeezing it between her fingers to let him know without speaking that if there was anyone else in the world that understood what he was going through in that moment then it was her. He didn't have to be alone anymore.

If it had worked remained to be seen but he did look away for a longer period of time then, his gaze settling on the woman before him. The woman who like him had finally left the wrestling business behind and was trying to make a life for herself outside of it. He had no idea if it was working out for her or not, they hadn't talked in forever but he really hoped it was. She deserved it.

"I want him to be alive Trish. I can't do this life without him. He was the one thing that made me stay sane in a world full of insanity."

She squeezed his hand tighter and continued to study him without him noticing. His shoulders were slumped, he did very much look like he had lost the inner part of himself that kept him strong in the face of adversity. Was he ever going to be able to get past this and get that inner strength back or was he destined to have this be his breaking point?

**Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**

There had been a point not too long ago in their past when they had been seemingly ready to commit to one another. To admit that there was more between them then just the passing friendship they had always held together. Chris Benoit had been the instigator of that, pushing them towards each other, letting them find their own way but standing by their sides safely so that they could without interruption.

Did he ever think about that time in their lives? Did he ever look back the way she had and wonder just what if he hadn't left the business and had stayed there with her on RAW? Would they be together now in every way possible and dealing with this together as a couple? Or would things have been the same as they were now and they would have followed different paths?

Better yet, was Chris above them now looking down and hoping that the one thing that could turn out from this tragedy was that two people finally admitted that they really did care about each other. Wanted to be more then just what they had always been, friends.

"I made such a mess of things Trish. So many things I wish I had done differently. If I had then Chris would still be here with us now."

She felt bad for him but knew what she needed to do. She could not let him head down this path of what if. She had to make him see that whatever had happened had been written to happen from the start and that going back now wouldn't change any of it. As sad as it was they had to get through this and stay strong for the sake of themselves and their life that was still livable.

"You can't think like that now Chris. He wouldn't want you to regret the things you have done because he wasn't around to see you do them. We both did what we thought was best at that time in our lives and nothing that we would go back and do differently would change it. He needed us but more then that he needed more then we could possibly give him."

"But if I had been there, when he needed someone to talk too then maybe this could have been avoided."

She turned into him then and put her hand to his lips. He needed to stop thinking this way because if he didn't it would just bring him into the much darker place that she herself had fought against and won. But in the wake of his pain he might not be able to do the same now. She needed to fight for him because she knew he wouldn't fight for himself any longer.

**So far away  
I wish you were here  
Before it's too late, this could all disappear  
Before the doors close  
And it comes to an end  
With you by my side I will fight and defend  
I'll fight and defend  
Yeah, yeah**

"It couldn't Chris, and deep down inside you know that. Nothing we would have done or could have done would have changed him. He was a tortured soul. All we can do now is fight back and make this be a lesson for everyone. Let's think about it that way. Let this lesson for us change the way the rest of the world works."

Looking at her now, seeing her as if for the first time he took her words to heart. That was what they could do wasn't it? They could take this horrible incident and learn from it, make themselves stronger and fight for what they and the elder Chris had believed in. They could really hold the power of changing the world in their hands.

"Do you really believe we can do that Trish? Because I don't know if I can do it alone."

She smiled then, something he hadn't been expecting but was surprised by the feelings it evoked in him. He had seen her smile numerous times when they had come up together in the WWE and made themselves better and stronger. He had made her laugh and she had done the same for him and now as it seemed to brighten up the place where they stood and her face he knew that it was just the thing he needed to get through this. The thing he had always needed and had never admitted too.

"You won't ever be alone again Chris. I am here with you now and I can be there with you as long as you need me to be. We can do this together. We have that power in our hands. All we need to do it accept it and use it. Can you do that? Can you help me change the way the world looks?"

That was the question wasn't it? Could he really do that? Could he put this horrible incident in the back of his mind and use it to be a teacher, to be a person that changed the perceptions of others and made the world a really bigger and better place to live? Better yet, could he do it with her, the woman he had always deeply cared for by his side without admitting that the feelings had never really gone away?

**Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through **

"I never stopped Trish. Never once in all of these years."

If she didn't know what he was talking about she didn't show it. In fact the more he watched her face, the way it changed in that moment he knew that she knew exactly what he was trying to say. This day wasn't about saying a real goodbye to a man they had both loved. It was about righting the wrongs that had been done to all of them throughout the years and learning from it and making it better.

Chris would have wanted this to happen now. He had always known that eventually Trish and him would get together and that it was only a matter of time and pride that would keep them apart. It was as if he was above them now, righting the wrong he had done in his time on Earth and making their time better. He was pushing them together even from beyond the grave.

"I haven't either Chris. So stand with me now, stand with me as long as it takes for this whole world to get the message and change. One step at a time, one day at a time. There is no one better I would want by my side for this."

"You mean that don't you?"

"Yes Christopher Irvine, I mean it. More then I have ever meant anything in my entire life. Don't let Chris's passing be in vain. Let's make his life mean something more then just the tragic way it ended."

He could tell through her tone of voice, the strength she had in her convictions that she meant every word she was saying. She was a true believer in something bigger then the both of them and as dark as he felt right now in that moment he knew that she would turn out to be his light. She would be the one to show him the way to live and love again without his best friend by his side.

**Hear me when I say, when I say I believe  
Nothings gonna change, nothings gonna change destiny  
Whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah**

"He loved all of us, he even loved his family. Of all the people that this could have happened too, it should never have happened to him. As much as I try, I cannot wrap my mind around it."

"I know, its hard for me to believe too. This is not the Chris I know and it never will be. I suppose thats why I want so hard to change things, make them better. He deserves that much."

Chris nodded then and wrapped his arms around the woman beside him now. The only person throughout the entire tragedy that had even bothered to say more then five words to him. The only person that unlike the media seemed to understand where he was coming from and just why this place felt so dark in that moment. She had always understood, even when he hadn't wanted her too and pushed her away.

"How do we change this Trish? How do we learn from this?"

Wrapping herself tighter into his embrace, feeling the beat of his heart next to her head and feeling it calm her entire body with just one beat she let his question sit in the air as she thought of the right answer. The answer she wanted to give, the one her heart would force her to give. There was only one thing they could do right now to make a change in their life from this horrible day and she was sure deep down he knew what that was too.

"We love each other Chris. The way we were meant to all of these years. Instead of fighting it and believing it was something other then what it was. We do what we know is right and we just allow our hearts to love."

She was right, he needed to admit that he had loved her all of these years. Had never forgotten her no matter how much he had tried. When he had pushed her away all those years ago he had done so to spare his heart and her feelings. All it had really done was make them that much harder to deal with. He needed her then and he really needed her now. He needed her words and her strength to live by.

"I love you Trish Stratus. I always have even when I didn't want to admit to myself. I need you to heal me the way you always have without even knowing it. Chris knew it and I knew it too but its time that you knew it as well. Before its too late and I never get the chance again."

Their eyes met then and all words seemed to escape them both. They were on the brink of a real change, one that would change them from the inside out and there was no going back. If they indeed wanted to change the world and make Chris Benoit's death mean something more then it did now then it had to start with them and brutal honesty between them.

They needed to admit their love and their need of one another before it was too late and they would never be able to go back.

Bending down to her he placed his lips to hers and just let them linger there, taking in the enormity of the situation before them. What had always seemed to be wrong at the time now just seemed so right and as they came together in this show of love, Chris was sure he heard his partners cry of happiness from above, finally happy that life was going to move on in a positive way without him.

For Chris Jericho there would never be darkness in his life again. Trish had now become his light.

**Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**

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End file.
